The Intrigue of Newman (Thank you Josh Ulrich)

Josh Ulrich's Newman is an amazing modern-day fantasy love story that I highly recommend people read. Newman is a story about a gnome and a Drow elf working for the Creature Removal Department, a government branch that hunts down and kills rogue monsters that attack the citizens of a mixed-species society. Newman is a gnome that enjoys killing monsters and enjoys going after the creepiest things from mythologies to Lovecraftian horrors while Gwen is a Drow Elf who is one of the best archers from her kingdom, but they don't think too highly of the other. Gwen tends to flirt with Newman constantly, and the two are at each other's throats for the first few chapters and are a bit slower than the rest of the story. Newman doesn't get a clue until the Halloween party when Gwen helps him get over his ex-girlfriend, Newman returns the favor by inviting Gwen to his family's Christmas party, however, we aren't worrying about the monsters more than the relationship and how these two different species react to holidays and customs. Josh uses the Halloween and Christmas chapters to become the turning point/spark to their love relationship.

The next day, Newman doesn't realize that his chest is glowing with the name Gwen. It isn't until the Playboy Chet lets him know about it, that we don't see the "darker side" of drow culture. According to Chet, Newman's co-worker, the problem with Drows in his mind is that women are not slaves, instead men are. Chet also explains that wedding rings for men are not rings but pet collars. The men submit to the women not by force or mind control, but by their own free will, love, and admiration for their lover. whether they were conditioned throughout their culture or by choice. Throughout the end of season 1, Newman learns many different things about Gwen's culture starting with Gwen's mom Lillian, Queen of the Drows, and Kathryn, a Drow that is constantly helpful to the couple even if Gwen considers her the archenemy who married Darian, Gwen's youngest sibling, and only brother.

In Season 2 Newman and Gwen must face off against Gwen's uncle and solve several cases fighting against eldritch horrors. Meanwhile, Gwen and Kathryn learn to be fast friends against all odds as both forms of couples show a more equal vs. subservient example of the culture. While Newman has mostly just been made to be a dress-up doll due to Gwen's childhood fantasies, and the occasional foot massager, Darian's conditioning to the Drow culture has made him look like a pushover to everyone. When Darian puts his mind to something, he goes from nerd class to Monk class fighter and pulls a lot for the team. What I mean by pulling, I mean Carrying Kathryn's butt across the desert in a throne. Both show love and dedication to their wives in many different ways while defeating ungodly monsters in the season and eventually Cthulhu himself.

Season 3 is a slight detour from the main story. Newman and Gwen have both gone to Drow heaven and back, Gwen has lost her magic powers, and Chet questions his sanity when he starts falling head-over-heels over Gwen's older sister Ashley. While Kathryn tries to cheer up a depressed Gwen from losing her powers, she sends the couple on a trip to find better weapons in the Mountain of Lovers. Along the way, she narrates as the Dungeon Master and leading the party to the legendary weapons. While season three features Newman and Gwen for the first half and has them fight monsters, this season also focuses on Chet's relationship with Ashley. Chet must decide if he wants to chain his love life down with a slave relationship or still be a playboy. Ashley on the other hand wants to break Drow tradition and consider Chet the Man of the house instead of the woman of the house.

Season 4 is a turning-over season. Gwen finds out about Newman's worst fear, Chet starts dating Ashley. With the master weapons and abilities locked away and possibly removed, Gwen and Newman go back to their normal job of removing creatures. Newman sets up a double date to help Chet get closer to Ashley. To Chet's surprise, they find a lot of similarities to each other and keep dating. Now Ashley has moved into Chet's new apartment. However, the suite next door has been creepily weird. As Chet learns the horrors of what befell the room, Ashley breaks through the room to save him. The two make out and finally become lovers.

Newman relives his worst fear as Gwen, Newman, Kathryn, and Darian stay in a lodge for the weekend. Newman, always ready to kill any monster even if he could get kidnapped, tortured, and possibly sacrificed by losing the fight, cowards at the sight of the monster with a clown mask. He believes that clowns eat children and begins to barricade every room in the lodge-like a Looney Toon attempting to keep the monster at bay. When everyone realizes that he can destroy anything as long as it doesn't have a clown face, they remove it for Newman to remove his fear and destroy the monster. Overstressed from Newman's antics, they throw the clown mask at Newman to freak him out one last time.

Season 5 is the final season of Newman. Gwen becomes pregnant and has a little girl named Lilly. When Lilly turns seven, she gets enrolled into the Creature Removal Agency's monster hunting school. This season is my favorite as nearly everything that has lead up to these moments is twice as good, and we also get to see Newman and Gwen's daughter Lilly have her own story. In season five, Lilly and Gwen learn how to harness their powers and finally defeat Cthulhu's reawakening. Lilly gains the help of both new and former characters to reach a climactic end to the series. Throughout the entire series, Josh still finds time for the audience to laugh in every chapter. I want to thank you for listening to my recommendation of Newman. I hope you will read This fantastic series sometime.